1. Take and read from a phrase book of the wrong language.
2. When checking in to your hotel, claim your name is Sir Admiral Lord Vertragdensf of Russia and that you are booked
in to the penthouse suite. Get annoyed and shout in Russian if they say you're not on the register.
3. When your on the beach, say in a loud voice "OH, THIS IS THE BEACH I READ ABOUT IN THE PAPER, THE SEA IS ABSOLUTLY
FULL OF SHARKS, 10 PEOPLE WERE KILLED AND EATEN LAST MONTH ALONE!!"
4. When you're on a boat trip, gently start to weep as you sing Rule Britannia. Salute and stand to attention as you do
5. Later, go up to the front of the boat and give your best performance of Titanic (helps if you have a friend with you
for this one).
6. In America - Claim to be from the past and tell everyone that George Washington used to be Georgina Washington, "I
Mean, Look at the hair!!"
7. In France - Ask why there appears to be no war memorials.
8. After checking out of the hotel, leave it for about five minutes, then go back in and check in again, acting like you
have just arrived for your holiday......repeat.
9. In Italy - Ask why they appear to have NEVER won the Eurovision Song Contest.
10. In Canada -Sing *Blame Canada* at the top of your voice.
11. In Australia - Try to find an intellect.......You wont.
12. When asked what you would like to eat in a restaurant, ask if they have jellied eels, "no, sorry sir"- ask
if they have pie and mash, "no, Sorry Sir" -ask if they have fish and chips, "No, sorry sir"- start to
sulk and say "FINE THEN,I'LL HAVE A BANANA, YOU HEARD OF THEM?!?!?!?!
13. Bet someone you can swim home.
14. Proclaim yourself in front of people to be the Appointed Ambassador and Representative Of The United Kingdom Of Great
Britain and Northern Ireland under order of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth The Second, but tell them they can call you John.
15. Ask people whose side they would be on in the event of war. Write down their answer and say "we shall remember........"
16. If in Russia, Walk down the street and ask, "So, ya still doing the whole 'commie' thing?"
17. Run screaming through your hotel, shouting to people that you have just found a stash of weapons under your bed. See
18. Announce to reception that your 'neighbor' has not left his room for five days and there is a really bad smell around