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Grandpa got run over by a beer truck
Coming out of Woody's Christmas Day
Grandma got a job out at the brewery
I never knew that she could drive that way!
Grandpa was out drinking with the floozies
Spending all of Grandma's hard earned dough
He didn't have enough to pay the bar tab
So Woody tossed him out the door into the snow
Grandpa stood there frozen in the headlights
He looked just as helpless as a deer
I don't think he was afraid of dying
I think he was just afraid he'd spill his beer!
Grandpa got run over by a beer truck
Coming out of Woody's Christmas Day
Grandma got a job out at the brewery
I never knew that she could drive that way!
Who'd have thought he'd end up as a road kill
She flattened him right on the center line
He could have made it to the curb if he were quicker
But she backed it up and squashed him one more time!
Grandma cried and cried at Grandpa's funeral
Not because we peeled him off the road
All the loot she got from his insurance
Went to pay the bar tab that he owed!
Grandpa got run over by a beer truck
Coming out of Woody's Christmas Day
Grandma got a job out at the brewery
I never knew that she could drive that way!
Osama got run over by a reindeer
Right outside his cave on Christmas Eve
Some folks say there's no such thing as Santa
But now even the Taliban believe
Osama thought we'd never find him
But even little children know
Santa knows who's been real naughty
In those hard Afghani mountains capped with snow
Al-Quaida found him Christmas morning
Face down on that mountain pass
There were hoof marks on his turban
And a broken reindeer antler up his ass
Osama got run over by a reindeer
Being near his cave door on Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as karma
But if you saw those hoof marks you'd believe
Sing it Fred!
Osama got run over by a reindeer
Now he's not around on Christmas Day
He was hopin' he'd be meeting Allah
The only thing he met was Santa's sleigh
Merry Christmas
Ooh, that's gotta hurt!
Chorus
Barney got run over by a tractor
Best of all it happened on TV
All the little children are unhappy
I am just beside myself with all the glee
He was singing to the kiddies
"You Wuv Me and I Wuv You"
Now he is just a piece of roadkill
Some furry purple bits of dino-goo.
Chorus
I don't think the children like me
But though I killed him, it's not wrong
We're saved from evil propaganda
That purple, nazi mind-controller's gone
Chorus
My trial date is set for Tuesday
I won't get off (so I've been told)
10 million kiddies saw me do it
And the judge and jury all are six years old......
Chorus
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