1. Re-enact the D-Day landings.
2. Build a sandcastle and stand guard next to it, every hour, do the 'changing of the guard' throwing in the occasional
"HALT, WHO GOES, THERE?!?!?"
3. Go in to the sea with a lilo and about half an hour later, climb out looking disorientated and say loudly in an Australian
accent " CRIKEY COBBER'S, I WAS AT BONZAI BEACH AN HOUR AGO!! MUSTA FALLEN ASLEEP ON ME LILO!!"
4. (An old, but still funny one!) Whilst in the sea, start thrashing about and scream "SHARKS!!!" . Ten minutes
later, do it again.
5. (Affective if you're a man). Wear a tight, red swimming costume and run in slow motion in the style of Baywatch, whilst
running, flick your hair in an appealing manner.
6. Wear a Penguin costume, climb out the sea puffing and panting, look around and say loudly " OH CRAP! TOOK A WRONG
TURNING SOMEWHERE!" go back in to the sea and start swimming away.
7. Bury a hose with water spraying upwards, Tell everyone you dug down to deep and now the beach is sinking.
8. Stagger up the beach in old ripped clothes clutching a matchstick and tell everyone that this is all that is left of
9. Follow the tide when it leaves and find out where it goes.
10. Practice your ostrich impressions.
11. With some friends, sit in a dinghy wearing German army uniforms, paddle along the shore line and announce" VE
TOOK ZE WRONG TURNING, I OPE ZAT VE ARE NOT TOO LATE".
12. with a friend, sing Summer Lovin' in pure Grease style.
13. Dig a hole in the sand and hide in it, when the beach is full, climb out and wearing a prisoners uniform and say "OH,
THIS IS'NT MEXICO!!", look back down the hole and say" GO BACK LADS, WE SHOULD HAVE GONE LEFT INSTEAD OF RIGHT!"
14. Have a pebble fight.
15. As the coastguard goes by with his siren on, run along after it happily shouting "ICECREAM MAN! ICECREAM MAN!"
16. Pretend to be a crab, go ahead and nip people.
17. Wear a pirates costume, get someone to dig a hole and say "ARGH ME MATEY'S, WE SHALL BURY THE TREASURE HERE!"
and proceed to bury some chocolate coins.
18. Whilst using a pair of binoculars, suddenly shout" IVE FOUND IT!!, ATLANTIS HAS ARISEN!! ISNT IT BEAU......NO
HOLD ON, SORRY MY MISTAKE, IT'S THE ISLE OF WHITE, SORRY!"
19. Go around and tell everyone that you have to 'Pay and Display' to use the beach, insist you are the ticket person.
Charge a ridiculous amount.
20. Beforehand, place a piece of bloodied meat on the edge of the sea, later go around and ask if anyone has seen your
doggie. Say he was playing in the water when you heard someone say SHARKS and you haven't seen him since.
21. Eat sand.
22. Make everyone who comes on the beach buy a beach badge. See how much money you can make.